Declining Sales, Sagging Breasts & Nowhere To Store Them

22nd January 2015 by Matt0
page31-1024x544.jpg

Two features on this morning’s BBC Breakfast News made me sit up and take notice.

Firstly, the British Library is running out of space for its collection of newspapers. This is perfectly understandable as it houses 300 years of news. However, with newspaper circulations in long-term decline – 40% over the last ten years – there’s room in the archives for another few years.

The fact we’re not buying as many newspapers as we used to is no longer newsworthy. We’re all aware of the easy access to current, often breaking news, that the internet and social media allows.

I wonder how long it will be before one of the established papers hits the wall? There has to be a point in a paper’s reach where advertisers think it’s no longer an effective medium to use. There has to be figure on a sales forecast which says the paper won’t be breaking even.

So, it’s not surprising that newspapers are having to market themselves more aggressively. And today’s news that Page Three has returned to The Sun is not unexpected.

What was unexpected and brilliant was the way the paper managed to get everyone talking about it and its controversial feature by actually saying nothing and doing nothing.

So many column inches and broadcast minutes were dedicated to the features disappearance and now, predictably, it’s all happening again because the tits are back.

Surely, if The Sun was going to stop publishing half naked ladies on Page 3, it would announce the departure with a bumper, double D, collection of its perkiest models from the last 44 years.

The furore will all die down in the next week and ‘Nicole (22) from Bournemouth’ will be no longer causing protests and fuelling local radio phone ins. Tomorrow’s fish and chip wrapping you might say but health and safety laws put an end to using newsprint for that purpose years ago.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.